Art Star

It's official . . .

All the 'home correction' invested in Shawna is finally paying dividends. She got me an interview with Paula Santilli with La Semana, the Spanish language weekly in Houston (too bad my Spanish is pequeño to nada). Still we all have to start somewhere.

In any case, I spent the morning primping and pampering to make sure I was at my best (you didn't think this just happened did you?) I arrived at DW just before 2 when the interview was to be held, and what do I find, but Paula is already interviewing Maria. (there she goes riding my coat tails again) No matter, while I pulled myself together and waited, I kept repeating to myself the words of my hero and mentor Stuart Smalley:
"I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!" She was saving the best for last, right?

Finally it was my turn. Things started on a good note when Paula referred to me as 'Master' upon our introduction (Shawna, Gina, et al take note, this how I will be addressed from now on) As we took our seats in my half painted studio, (see images below) she began by asking me if it would be alright if the interview was conducted in Spanish. I asserted that her english is better than my spanish, she attempted to repudiate that, to which I responded that unless she was looking for an interview of expletives (which I am well versed in) we should probably continue in English. Finally acquiescing, the interview proper began.

Showtime! The interview itself went rather well. I was charming and affable (as usual), no really tough questions. It was more of a chat with friend (a friend with a tape recorder) By the end of it I could tell I had won her over, she seemed ready, willing, and able to join my legion of fans.

The attention and adulation were all too fleeting and before i new it, it was time to go back to work. Here's my space half painted.

I finished painting that 'lit' wall black, despite the taunts I received from the staff (Patricia) for wearing a respirator. Asthma is one of the more hilarious aspects about my life. Despite my lack of painting fashion, I finished the bulk of the painting, leaving only the corner and some touching up to finish.


I see a red door and . . .

I'm painting my space black.

Much to the chagrin of Jon, who evidently spent time last week painting it all back to white. Didn't get as early a start as i wanted to, had some things to take care of on the home front. Got up here about 3 pm by the time i whipped the staff into shape (i added Gina to my list of flunkies) and got everything ready to go it was already 4. And come to find out that all of my fellow artists were here last night working (and plotting I'm sure). So I've got to make up for some lost time.

Not sure who's reading this but I wanted to include the list of props i made for Shawna to circulate. (i should probably check up on her) But if any one has any of these items that they could let me borrow for about a week, please post a response.

Bathtub Sucide - Bathroom
1. Clawfoot Bathtub
2. Bathroom Mirror
3. Toilet
4. Sink
5. Floor tile

Cheating Murder – Bedroom
1. Queen or King sized bed
2. Linens
3. Carpet/Rug
4. Sidetables
5. 2 matching Lamps
6. Pillows
7. End of Bed Chest
8. Handgun

Pool Drowning – Pool
1. Pool + pool stuff…. (if you have a pool or access to a pool that i can use)

Hunting Accident
1. Hunter’s wear: Camo and orange vests (2 sets)
2. Rifles

Poisoned Dinner - ? (i'm going to do some lighting tests this week to see if i can use my friends dining room)
1. Formal Dining room set
2. Formal China
3. Turkey
4. Large Painting?

Sculpture Accident - I'm looking for a large warehouse space with an overhead dollie thing (i have a couple of leads i'm working on, but again if you have this and are willing to let me take it over for a couple of days)
1. Sculpture

Child Murder
1. Crib + crib stuff
2. Toys

Body in a Trunk – Dock or location near the water to 'dump the body'
1. Back of someone’s car
2. Rope, Duct tape
3. Cinderblock

The other thing that i really need is a make-up artist to create the blood and gore. Well enough of a break, it's back to work.


First Day of School

The residency began this morning with a breakfast 'meet and greet'. Running late, the 'ladies' were already there and seated with refreshments when I arrived. Diane reviewed the residency, what was expected of us (do whatever we want), introduced the rest of the staff (asking us to use and abuse them), handed out the benjamins (sweet!), and turned us loose.

Our first order of business was to figure out an equitable distribution of the 'studio' spaces. Maria, Kia and I were eying the same two spaces. After vetoing my idea to settle it Greco-Roman style (so much for my height and weight advantage), the haggling began. It ended amicably before any blood was spilled (I could have had my first photo) with Kia getting the choice space, Maria the #2, I got last one that i could make work as a photo studio. Tina stayed above the fray offering to take whatever was left.

With that settled, we took a break to have some refreshments and for us artists to get to know each other a bit better. Kia is going to transform her space into a cave, I thought she meant it figuratively, but then she started talking about how she will make it look like actual rock. Tina plans to work on new 2-D work, and Maria was excited about having a large space to work. I began to plan my spaces transformation into a studio space to create more violent images.

With that it was time to start making that DW staff work for me! I had Jon run out some tables and fetch me black paint. Shawna don't give me that 'I have all this press work to do' and 'there are other artists'. You need to start workin' for the big E. Find me props and some people to kill. I don't care if you have to go to the Alley, just get it done!

By that point Tina and Maria split to go collect things, so Kia was left to 'help' move wood. Duly impressed by my acumen dealing with the staff, she flexed her own authority berating Jon for not having the tools set up fast enough. Chop! Chop! Kudos!

Fatigued by all the bossing around and moving wood, I made my exit to work on my prop list, on this blog, and get some supplies.

Author's note: The above may have been slightly embellished for storytelling purposes